Who or What Is In Control of Your Life?
This thought swirls in my mind and has for days. Not just for me but for a lot of people. There can be several answers to this question depending upon the person: my partner, the kids, government, money, parents and on & on it goes. But the answer should be YOU.
No matter what the circumstances you are in control, you have choices to make. As do I. We can only control ourselves, our mind and how we respond to external events in our lives. We waste so much time throwing tantrums about who did what to whom, whose in office in the government, what did or didn't happen within our home environment or something as mundane as somebody's dog crapped in my yard & didn't pick it up! Who is in control of YOUR LIFE?? This is drama that we're all wasting our time on. If you're being disrespected by someone don't complain about it to everyone but the person who is committing the offense. Have a discussion with that person. It doesn't have to be a yelling match on YOUR part. That's the beauty of choice! Make the choice, take control of you. You have no control of them but you do of yourself.
And here's the greatest thing of all, when you understand the limitations of what and who you have control over life is simpler, less drama, easier. You have the difficult conversations & then release. Release what, you might ask? What the outcome is. If they yell, you have a choice. If they apologize, you have a choice. If they end the relationship/friendship, you have a choice. Just consider in any given situation that you are in, you have a choice. Partner dumps you: you can choose to beg & plead for them to reconsider, you can take some time to consider if there were any warning signs before they broke things off, check in with yourself & honestly ask yourself if this is REALLY a relationship/person worth fighting for or maybe you have felt unsatisfied for awhile and what really hurts is that they dumped you first. Bottom line, is it about ego, co-dependency or love???
I'm not so heartless as to say that this or other situations don't make you sad, angry, hurt or humiliated. I'm saying that if the recurring thought would be that you are only in control of YOU it leads you down the path of acceptance instead of down rabbit holes of 'what if', 'if only'.
But, I started off at the end! In the beginning you have to determine what your priorities are for yourself. And here's the funny thing about priorities, they're great if you're the only person in life but other people in your life and life in general don't give a crap about your priorities because they have their own. You're running your business out of your home so you can be at home with the kids, the tornado that demolished your house doesn't care. Or your internet company doesn't care, they can't solve your connectivity for three days.
Priorities are ever changing every day, hour and through every season of life. Children are a priority when they're small & need to be kept safe, fed and clothed. As a mother/grandmother, my kids are adults & have families of their own! I am my priority and when they need me, I'll more than likely be there (unless I'm elsewhere ) or if it's an emergency I'm definitely there!
And here's what I've learned in my years in regards to relationships: If you make the other person your priority you will wind up losing yourself and possibly ending up angry, resentful and alone. Priorities ebb & flow within a relationship and dammit they should. Some days it may be that you need a day of self care, a day as a couple or a solo trip. Or a trip with friends. It's called negotiating the priorities within the relationship to make sure that both parties or possibly the whole families needs are met. Yes, sacrifices have to be made in a relationship, in a neighborhood, community, city, state, government election, hell the whole world has to make sacrifices every day!
This is what so many people have forgotten on a macro level and a micro level.
